Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
