we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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