i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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