WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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