I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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