been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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