Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
