i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
