3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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