i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
