debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
