I wish my penis had an off switch
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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