Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
