I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
