Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
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He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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