Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
did i just pee glitter
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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