she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
