did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
