she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
