Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i think i just lost a toe
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
