I'm gonna have a badass scar
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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