Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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