You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize