We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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