my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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