This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
