I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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