My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
