Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
