Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
