Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
