Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize