I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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