I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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