In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
