So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize