I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
That was an excessively violent trivia night
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize