Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
