Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
