I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
this just has baby written all over it
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
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If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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