u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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