you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
