pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
