But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
id be glad to
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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