i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
this will be a night to untag.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
