um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
