I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
