If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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