Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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