Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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