Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
