Nicole vs. Life
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize