I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
