If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
