The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
dude. I can hear the air.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
