after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
