dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
