Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
