It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
